


Dressing up

by roomapple



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, but not really, dressing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 20:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10998312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roomapple/pseuds/roomapple
Summary: Joker likes to dress up.Three 100-word drabbles inspired by those weird sexy halloween costumes you see sometimes.





	Dressing up

**Author's Note:**

> A series of drabbles I wrote to amuse my friend who responded to my "Joker owns an appropriate outfit for every occasion" with "Joker owns both an appropriate and an inappropriate outfit for every occasion."

“So what are you supposed to be?”

Joker strikes a seductive pose against the doorway. “I’m sexy corn.”

“How is corn sexy?”

“I’m _making_ the corn sexy. By putting my body in it,” Joker explains patiently.

Batman shifts on the bed as he considers this information. “I mean…okay,” he says finally.

Joker starts advancing on him. “If you got something to say Batsy, you know I am all… _ears._ ”

“Wha-“

“But I think I look _amaizing.”_

“Are those- did you- did you buy that just so you can make corn puns all night?”

Joker pushes him down and leans over to his ear.

“ _Corrnrect,_ ” he whispers. 

\----

“No,” Batman says before Joker can finish stepping into the room. “Absolutely not.”

Joker giggles and grabs the little cape hanging from his back and holds it in front of him. “ _I am the night_.”

“Stop.”

Joker drops the cape and grins down at himself. “The best part is just how little they had to change to the original batsuit to make it into a sexy batsuit.”

“This is the literal worst thing you have ever done to me.”

“ _This is the literal worst thing you have ever done to me.”_

“…If you’re gonna do the voice, you should at least do it right.”

Joker looks up with a wide smile. “Ohoho! I like the sound of that. Is this happening?”

Batman is quiet for a moment.

“Of course this is fucking happening,” he grumbles finally. “Get in here.”

\---

 

“Sexy Ernie?”

“Mm mm,” Joker nods, before he pulls out the second costume from behind his back. “And he’s not alone!”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“Oh come on, do you want sexy Ernie to cheat on his sexy husband?”

“Hey, Bert and Ernie aren’t married!”

Joker lowers the costume, momentarily falling out of his role. “What? They totally are. Bats, they share a bed!”

“Friends can share beds!”

“What the- okay, okay. You know what?” Joker says, throwing the costume aside. “Sex is off. Pull out your laptop right now, we’re re-watching Sesame Street.”

\---

BONUS: 

 

“You want me to wear it _again_?”

“You're the one who introduced it in the first place.”

“As a _joke!_ I didn’t expect it to be _this_ successful.”

“Like, I can help it I’m this dashing.”

“…”

“Please?”

“…Fine. But just _one_ more time.”

Batman kisses him on the cheek. “I love you. And this time, pretend you’re beating up some _really_ scary monsters first.”

Joker looks at him. “Okay, one of these days we’re going to address this.”

 

 

 


End file.
